DON’T go to Sleep with Anger and Unresolved Issues – Here’s Why

going to bed angry
General Health

Your grandmother may have told you never to go to bed angry when you got married, and you may not have taken that golden nugget of advice to heart. But her seemingly old-fashioned mentoring might actually be worth more than you think.

A new study suggests that couples who resolve any issues before going to sleep leads to better quality, more restorative sleep. Since sleep quality can impact your health, it’s safe to say that if you go to bed angry, you could be hampering your health (both mentally and physically).

Scientists from the Society for Personality and Social Psychology took time to analyze and observe 698 married or cohabitating people between the ages of 35 and 66. It was found that those whose partners paid more attention to them were able to not only fall asleep much more easily, but get the best sleep necessary for their health.

The sleep was studied in both a subjective way by asking participants how they felt their sleep quality was, and objectively by observing their sleep using a monitoring device.

“Our findings show that individuals with responsive partners experience lower anxiety and arousal, which in turn improves their sleep quality,” stated developmental and social psychologist Dr. Emre Selcuk, lead author of the study.

Reducing anxiety is key to getting the best night’s sleep possible, and scientists have found that having a partner to protect us from outside dangers is one of the best ways to do this. Therefore, having an attentive partner helps keep our sleep restorative and in check. [2]

Study authors also suggest that humans in general feel the safest when they have a partner or someone they can rely on to protect them when things go wrong. This also includes children who may feel unsafe of threatened at times, but are found to sleep more soundly when they are aware that their parent is available to protect them from situations that provoke reactions or anxiety.

“Having responsive partners who would be available to protect and comfort us should things go wrong is the most effective way for us humans to reduce anxiety, tension and arousal,” Seluck added.

According to the study, next time you’re arguing with your spouse or even parent or child, hash it out completely before you go to bed. You’ll wake up feeling much more refreshed and in a better mood than if you let it go and continued the argument in the morning.


[1] Telegraph

[2] Huffington Post